i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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