K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
