I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
