if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
