he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize