I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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