i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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