Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
