My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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