ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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