You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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