And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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