did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
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I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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