I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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