I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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