Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
