So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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