i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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