Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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