Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
