Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
