he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
