I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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