I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize