And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
