So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
