So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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