hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
