Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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