Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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