Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
