Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
