Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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