Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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