yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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