i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize