Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
