I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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