Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
