I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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