Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
soo... how was my night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
