spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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