"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
