at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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