If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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