pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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