At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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