Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
