How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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