why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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