I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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