Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
