Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
