You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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