apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
