only you would photoshop your dick
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
