my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I want her autograph on my taint
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
