Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
do nipples grow back?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
