you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
