We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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