If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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