I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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