yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You smell like stripper and shame
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
