Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
