She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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