hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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