I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
