i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
